Another Saturday night, another X Factor live show, and I’m thanking the heavens we’ve already made it to the quarter finals.
Don’t get more wrong, I’d gladly spend every Saturday night in the televisual company of dancing one man wonder Dermot O’Leary. It’s just that X Factor 2014 seems rather dull otherwise, sans Stevie Richie.
Jukeboxes were all the rage this week as friends of the show and the viewing public picked songs for the remaining acts, mostly via Skype.
One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson was back in action (seriously, he’s the fifth judge this year) with Niall Horan and Zayn Malik. They called to tell Ben Haenow that Simon Cowell had told them to pick Come Together for him.
And come together it did: Haenow stole the show, much to the despair of one Melanie B.
The former Spice Girl took her tactical judging to the next level, deeming Haenow’s superb Ed Sheeran cover unsuitable. The studio audience was having none of it though and, through the medium of a deafening chorus of boos, told her she could stop right now, thank you very much.
Her Italian stallion Andrea was, as always, on flying form. And yet, you couldn’t help but feel that his fantastic vocal just won’t be enough to win the competition.
Sia’s Chandelier (chosen by Sam Smith) was a welcome departure from the norm but a rousing rendition of Mariah Carey’s Hero (sung partially in Italian) took him right the way back to the Pop Idol days of old.
Looks like Louis could have fierce trouble making “the people’s diva” happen any time soon.
Don’t You Worry Child
Cheryl’s remaining lass Lauren finally pulled out the family X Factor sob story and had the brother on stage with her again. There’s no business like show business after all.
“You didn’t tell anyone” the judges cooed while explaining she’d been sick all week.
It’s a real pity that Lauren’s fallen somewhat behind in the competition though. The 17 year old can clearly sing and seemed to have so much potential in Week One, but she hasn’t really found her feet since then.
“Don’t you worry child”, mentor Chezza told her as she launched into the Swedish House Mafia track. As the old X Factor saying goes, maybe it’s just not “her time”.
Elsewhere, octoband Stereo Kicks were back with another 24 hour emergency and a little help from Tulisa Contostavlos. The former winning mentor sent them on stage with an iconic Bruno Mars track but a lack of dancers (cancelled at the last minute) apparently sent them off course.
They returned later in the evening with Snow Patrol’s Run, which they proceeded to shout their way through. Mel B loved it though.
East is East
And finally, there was Fleur East. The former backing singer had no problem making the stage her own but Emelie Sande landed her in it by giving her a lesser known Tina Turner track to sing.
If only she’d gone rolling on that river, Fleur might have made an impact that even Mary could be proud of.
Between the Tina number that lacked the vocal power of Ms Turner and an Alicia Keys track that’s been done to death, Fleur just about managed to hold her own though. If justice prevails, she’ll live to sing and dance another day.
Justice and The X Factor don’t necessarily go hand in hand though, do they?
Who’ll go home on Sunday evening?
I’m too busy looking forward to Ella Henderson’s performance to care, being honest.